"Best I Ever Had"

why can't i get you off my f*ckin mind ?! everytime i almost forget, YOU make me remember.

soooo reality sets in...

All freshman year, I have observed the art of playing games. This is nothing new but damn in such a concentrated setting, it's hilarious.

I've watched guys chase girls, girls chase guys, girls talk shxt and guys fight guys. I've watched relationships and friendships be made and easily broken and easily re-made. smh. i thought we were in college ? but really it's high school in another state with new people, less food, a lot of naps and random adventures. i love how people think they run the AUC. i love it. because sooner or later it all comes crashing down. and that later has finally arrived.

people have gotten really bold these first few days of our last days as freshman. tension has reached its ultimate peak and the people who you thought were down for the count were really just kidding and they are calling niggas out! hilarious much ? i definitely think so.

What's in my ears ?

Make Love - Keri Hilson

Prom Queen - Lil Wayne

Chillin - Wale ft. Lady Gaga

I Love College - Asher Roth

Let Me See Your Booty - The Dream

Knock You Down - Keri Hilson ft. Kanye West & Ne- Yo

Brand New - Trey Songz

So Far Gone CD - Drake

Beyonce does it again!

My girl B and my man Idris are teaming up for Obsessed, which comes out April 24th. It should be amazing. I'm tooooo excited but aren't I always when it comes to Beyonce ?

rough nigga shit ?

so me and one of my best friends, Imani have actually talked on the phone like 3 times this semester which is a record. lol. and basically we came to the conclusion that we're somewhat retarded and contradictory because we're from Baltimore City and we like rough dudes. not to say that we like ignorance or abusive men! but we do like to be around dudes that have that urban factor. there is a difference. this is the perfect guy in our eyes (minus all of those other typical beautiful qualities):

1. you have to KNOW (not be) at least one drug dealer. if you've never met one or if you don't know one, you wouldn't be able to deal with our friends or family. annnndd you're probably from a whack no man's land.
2. you have to have that urban factor. meaning, you can defend yourself at any moment and you're always down for whatever.
3. you have to be well rounded. you can be real hood but at the same time, you're educated and you do what you gotta do to be successful---legally.

and this is why we always fall for the wrong guys!...lmao. and we know this and we acknowledge this. we want these guys that we can relate to but then they always have these qualities that everybody else wants, so it always gets messy. regardless, we will continue to be hard headed and search for the ones that meet our criteria until one day, we find the right one. maybe I already have.

misunderstood.

i throw up my middle finger and unconsciously make strange faces that tell it all. i try not to be negative but my tongue just slips. my lips move faster than my mind sometimes and i am misunderstood. mistaken. "trust no nigga, fear no bitch mentality" a cement wall around my heart. underconstruction. i can make you love me . . . but not really. i'm an acquired taste. sassy but sweet - if you can make it there. the ones who are willing to remove the "wall" brick by brick are the ones who are closest to my heart. the people who are able to see right through it, are the people that love me the most . . . because they understand struggle. they understand pain. they understand me. but most people will never make it that far. why do i make it so hard ? because it's my life and i only want real people in it.

dumb it down.

the complexities and harsh realities of my mind stand out in my words. i get that. the gravitational pull that I have on you infringes upon my duty to be politically correct. you infringe on my "politically correctness". when you yank and scream and pull at me out of genuine lust, my response offsets your pleasurable view of me and that's fine. because I'd rather turn you off than allow you to disrespect who I am as a young Black woman. call me stuck up. call me rude. talk about my attitude. call me ugly. to me, it's just more $$$ in the bank. see, i like men. mature.young.men. i don't find your jungle like behavior satisfying or amusing. to me, it's down right distasteful.

I despise the argument that young women dress for young men. I can't speak for all young women. but this young woman dresses as she pleases because I like the way I look. I know the concept of individuality and poise are hard for your hormones to grasp so let me break it down for you. I like to be intellectually stimulated but not to the point where I feel like every day I'm talking to my grandfather. I like to be complimented on my beauty and not necessarily my body and not necessarily all the damn time. there's more to me than just a pretty face. yes, I'm demanding. cocky ? not at all. however, I do possess standards. I don't get caught up in the superficial glamour or the idiotic clamor of guys who can't hold their liquor and say and do things that they won't remember the next day. that's okay sometimes. but if that's all you are . . .