2 a.m. thoughts

1. this essay is so long that i cannot put myself through the excruciating pain or re-reading and editing it.

2. why does the second floor of the science center smell like burnt popcorn ? the better question is, how do you STILL burn popcorn at the age of 20 ?

3. is she really going out with him ?

4. i cannot wait to eat again, lol.

5. who hires the lab monitors for the 24 hr computer lab ?

6. maybe i should cut my hair when i come back from ghana since it'll probably become damaged anyway.

7. usher's confessions album is one of the only albums i can listen to from beginning to end without skipping any songs.

8. what's cool anymore ?

9. i remember being such a geek that people laughed in my face and i said nothing back, lol.

10. they say what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. but nobody ever says what happens when you actually get killed...

11. russian roulette by rihanna is crazy, but i love it.

12. i don't regret anything yet you're on my mind at 2:09 a.m.

13. guys really do think about women in terms of sex. how sad.

14. sophomore year was boring but somehow i'm inspired ; i miss home.

organized mess.

i love the fast paced life. i love the flashing lights and continuous bass running through my veins. but sometimes so many lights can burn you and blind you without you even knowing. and the bass can discombobulate your heart and r a t t l e your thoughts. just like that.

and when i feel like things are getting too crazy, i i turn down the lights and the loud music and i am left with nothing but my louder than life thoughts. i don't try to ignore them because i love thinking. it's both the most soothing and irritating aspect of my life.

so today, in an interview i was asked to describe myself in three words. i hate that question. because i'm so much more than three words. lol. i am a true product of my mother and father. compassionate, intelligent, beautiful, diligent, shy<-->cautious, stubborn, honest, caring, emotional. two totally opposite ends of the spectrum that color me BLACK. but somehow it works. and i love it. even if no one else can understand , i understand. and i am sure that there is at least ONE ? other person out there that can match it.

winding down , i realize that my personality is no longer so drastic. my qualities are no longer so. . . extreme. and i am actually evened out. thank God. haha.