back to my baltimore ways ?

. . .or maybe they never left.

i thought that when i came home , i would be the same positive , fun-loving , care-free , goofy person that i was in atlanta. i mean , i never really changed all that much right ?

but when i am home. when i am in this place , i feel trapped. i feel like i'm having an internal struggle with my alter ego. i don't know what i want or who i want it from. i don't know where i wanna be or who i wanna be with. wth.

when i come home, i feel a transformation kick in. i feel the need to mean mug females and talk about their trashy prom dresses or their childish dressing habits. i feel the need to be mean to people. i feel the need to be standoffish because i don't want to be taken advantage of. i feel like i am falling back into my baltimore ways. not to say it's my city's fault that i can be a real bxtch sometimes but there's definitely something about home that makes me scream anger--even if there's no one there =/