rub the bean for goodluck : )

lying back squinting my eyes and staring at the sun lit sky as we answer texts, take pictures simultaneously and then get our seven chuckles off of how bad they turned out lol. or how unique the lighting or angle is. or the severity of the ugly faces being made when we weren't quite ready to have our picture taken. sifting through the sand between our toes. opening and closing our hands softly while watching the pale colored otherwise considered dirt slip from our grasp. like childhood.

but this is one of the closest things to it.

rinsing our muddy feet in the salty ocean water filled with jellyfish and sand crabs that we can catch once the wave settles them at our feet. and as the tide tries to take them away. the ultimate joy and look of accomplishment resonating in the eyes of some city girls with little appreciation for bugs or any crawling creatures for that matter. using our index finger as a drawing tool and the damp compact dark brown sand as our easel to write our names and who we love and what we love or just 'love' before it gets washed away. haha.

for a moment, the thoughts of being dirty from the sand sticking to our wet feet and legs and residing under our manicured fingernails subside. and the excitement to model our bare skin and experience the freedom we've lacked during our latter years due to silly teenage fear takes over. nothing else matters as we take in the subtle breeze that graces our skin and sends a chill over our bodies as we become 1/2 shade 'browner' from the open sun. nothing to obstruct our peace except each other.

the grass is never greener . . .

summer love.
it's hot outside and i have been begging for heat and sunshine for the longest but now that it's here, something has come over me. i have been experiencing all of these feelings and internal conflicts this last half of the semester and last night, they subsided. the desire to "release your contract", the desire to walk away, the desire to cry, the desire to rebel, the desire to criticize . . . gone with the rain and wind. yesterday, i felt the sun graze my legs for the first time in a long time and for the first time in a long time, i. felt. you.

because when i think of summer, when i taste summer, when i feel summer . . . i think of you, i taste you (haha), and i feel you. 3 out of the 4 past summers, i have spent with you. heat stroke stroll down wildwood parkway. awkward bus rides (we were so young :) the harbor. celebrating our summer birthdays. surprise boat rides. countless amusement parks. butterflies of our first time and butterflies on roller coasters. obnoxious car rides. ritas. bi-monthly visits to outback (lol). his and her cargo shorts. greasy fast food. fast fights. tattoos. love.

i am finally realizing that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side; it's just shadier.