mission accomplished :)

I'm so terrible but I love it. This is what college is about. Few know what I am talking about, but I just feel the need to share my sheer excitement, even if no one understands. haha.

I'm getting mad shade for doing me, but at least I'm cool [puts on sunglasses here]. corny huh ? lmao.

............

But on a serious note, "I am not a dog catcher. If you expect for me to chase you, that's fine. But don't get mad when I adopt a pure bred."

the grass is never greener . . .

summer love.
it's hot outside and i have been begging for heat and sunshine for the longest but now that it's here, something has come over me. i have been experiencing all of these feelings and internal conflicts this last half of the semester and last night, they subsided. the desire to "release your contract", the desire to walk away, the desire to cry, the desire to rebel, the desire to criticize . . . gone with the rain and wind. yesterday, i felt the sun graze my legs for the first time in a long time and for the first time in a long time, i. felt. you.

because when i think of summer, when i taste summer, when i feel summer . . . i think of you, i taste you (haha), and i feel you. 3 out of the 4 past summers, i have spent with you. heat stroke stroll down wildwood parkway. awkward bus rides (we were so young :) the harbor. celebrating our summer birthdays. surprise boat rides. countless amusement parks. butterflies of our first time and butterflies on roller coasters. obnoxious car rides. ritas. bi-monthly visits to outback (lol). his and her cargo shorts. greasy fast food. fast fights. tattoos. love.

i am finally realizing that the grass is NEVER greener on the other side; it's just shadier.

oh , how i love Beyonce

last night as i was reading facebook statuses, i saw that a girl from maryland had already gotten her tickets to see Beyonce. now, the last time i checked she was touring in Europe so i was confused. i went to her website and found out that the I Am...Sasha Fierce North American tour will be initiated this June!!! 6 days before my day of birth aka June 24, B will be in DC at the Verizon Center! Tickets go on sale on Saturday at ticketmaster and the first 2000 people will only be charged $20 per ticket! wtf ?! my mom will be on ticketmaster.com tomorrow morning at 9...waiting until 10 so that we will be in the building. fa sho. I'm beyond excited!!

***public service announcement***

***IF YOU WERE NOTHING THEN, YOU ARE NOTHING NOW***

I find myself constantly having this conversation with my friends because we're soooo sick of it. I'm so sick of people living their lives in the shadows of others and then using college as a chance to shine. you have a chance to start over. yes. we all have taken advantage of that. but , starting over does not mean re-creating you. you are who you are regardless of what anyone else thinks. at the end of the day, you have to look in the mirror and love yourself. no one else. and right now, this whole guy/girl thing may seem like a big deal. but it's not. right now, nothing is a big deal. we are rising sophomores and the drum of life beats whether you prove yourself or not. when you go to college, you are expected to change. but some people need to evaluate the changes they are making. are they positive ? do they reflect the kind of person that you really want to be ? if all of these people disappeared tomorrow , would you look at yourself the same way ? if the answer to any of these questions is no , then you need to take a time out this summer to reflect on your social being. let's grow up, shall we ?

and i am just getting started !

so freshman year is basically over. phew. that was easy. lol. but really it was. most of the difficulty i faced was homesickness, this long distance relationship and shady male characters. other than that . . . piece of cake, piece of pie :)

so here's my countdown in no specific order.

1. getting stuck at atlantic station because this guy from Cali parked illegally and got his freakin car towed. smh.
2. my second thirsty thursday encounter where i got so unbelievably drunk that i could not hold my head up. lmao.
3. 4/20 - when i experienced the high of a lifetime that sent me into a psychotic rage.
4. every hump wednesday.
5. the night we went to a cookout, randomly ended up at this apartment in what seemed like the middle of nowhere, freestyled on the "stoop" and created a soul train line. lmao.
6. Cool Kids concert that Janelle Monae unexpectedly opened and made my night :)
7. Wale x UCB experience where i saw the love of my life - T.I.!!!
8. each and every thursday of first semester at motions when it was actually poppin. whomp.
9. Drake Concert !
10. OBAMA NIGHT! enough said.
11. the concept of the bottomless cup ;)

these are probably the most important/influential experiences of freshman year that i can think of at the moment . . . and as i keep hearing people say "I can't believe it's already over", all i can say is , "what ? I'm just getting started !"

my vagina says . . .

so one of the privileges of attending an all Black women's college is that you can pretty much say anything you want. basically. and sometimes we start of our conversations like "my vagina says..." so what ? lol.

anyway . . . the word vagina is soooo taboo in our society. by the age of 20, we are still uncomfortable with even mentioning our vagina. but why ? people say it's because of the European ideals that have been forced upon us. supposedly women are supposed to be discrete and mysterious creatures. we're expected to suppress our sexuality and individuality. we are raised to believe that our vaginas are sacred. therefore, we shall not say its name in vain. but then again, women never have a reason to discuss our vaginas. our vaginas do not come up in our daily conversations. therefore, we never have the chance to even say the V word.

but, men repeatedly refer to their penises on the daily basis. they interact with their penis and they are taught to openly express their relationship with their genitals. however, most men will not refer to their penis as such because of a lack of maturity. actually, any non-medical conversation about the penis at all shows a lack of maturity and insecurity. but that's just my personal opinion. at least they don't have a problem with saying it.

my vagina says that we are too old to be afraid to even say her name. period. and if you are not mature enough at this point to say the biologically correct term for our private parts, you shouldn't be having sex either !

diligent disrespect.

we live in a world where men can commit terrible crimes against females but they can never commit to a relationship. women are emotionally brutalized while their husbands receive the purple heart for saving a fallen stripper and lying her on her back. and he kisses her lips with lies and deceit without having any remorse while her eyes burn with fury and indescribable passion. she cries. and all of the guys laugh because they feel no pain and in their eyes the feelings of a woman mean as much as the feelings of a man. nothing.

we live in a world where we are taught to forgive and forget when we're constantly remembering. and we can't help but to remember. terrible experiences that create blood clots for women who only ask questions because they're curious, not because they don't have trust. jealousy does not constitute distrust, but for some reason men don't believe so they invest in lust.

maybe i should invest in lust.