Sunday, March 22, 2009

I lied.

This comes straight from the heart. If you don't understand or don't care, it doesn't matter. This one is strictly for me.

I said I would never write anything else about you. but how can I stop when I can't stop thinking about you. The things we've done and seen can't compare to the way our lives have changed . . . or so I thought. Why are we so much alike that we're so damn different ? Why am I afraid to be without you when you have no fear of life without me ? Is that the only reason why I'm with you ? Is that the only reason I've been looking for happiness in the bottom of a cup or on the blade of a knife ? or in people who don't love me and people who barely care ? I thought that happiness was supposed to come from inside of me. But how when you're inside of me ? How could you have impacted my life so much ? and I feel like I haven't affected you at all. What am I supposed to do ? How am I supposed to feel ? I can't put all of my feelings into one setting. Actually, I'm all over the place. I don't see me in you.

You're far from perfect and so am I. But I love everything about you. I never wanted you to change. But you could only see me as your critic when I've only been your biggest fan. All I want is your understanding. I never wanted to push you away. But I think you're only allotted a certain amount of tears per guy and I feel like the well has run dry.

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