Monday, January 25, 2010

a confession of a teenage girl.

she never thought that she was beautiful.

i knew in my heart that i was much different than other girls at the age of 14. my hair was coarse with shades ranging from dark brown to blonde. my body was exquisite to the male species but to me , i thought that my legs were stumpy and that i was way too short. my eyesight was way below the average eyesight of a teenager and while i owned glasses , i refused to wear them after repeatedly being teased in the 7th grade. so i constantly squinted and sat at the front of the class so that i would be able to see what most people could see from a mile away. [even though i was physically nearsighted , i could see much farther than any other 14 year old ever could.] people scowled at me because they knew that i knew all of the answers. they laughed at me because i was pigeon toed but they were ignorant so they called me bowlegged. i loved math and english. and fashion was neither interesting nor important to me. people used a variety of adjectives to describe me to other people. smart , thick hair , glasses , brown skinned , short , quiet but beautiful ? NEVER THAT.

i believed that i would never meet a guy who liked me enough to ask me out. i lacked the confidence to interact with other people in fear that i wasn't cool enough or interesting enough. in situations involving the opposite sex , i dreaded their approach and focused my attention elsewhere just to avoid contact. i was afraid to be.
awkward , plain , shy , smart , thick hair , short , and brown skinned were all ways that other people described me but beautiful ? NEVER THAT.

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